Middle Ground

Recently someone has entered into to my life. My mind thinks one thing the heart thinks another and somewhere in the middle is where I stand. What I consider cautions others see as a sign of blocking a blessing. Hmmmmm We will see the verdict is still out. Everyone wants that right person. Some find them in their younger years while others find them later in life. Each experience is completely different. As the days go by my mind reasons with my heart and I feel as if I’m standing on the edge of a building wondering if I should jump.  The constant question in my head is -Why am I like this? I believe past experience make you want to not make the same mistakes. Giving more of yourself than the other offers and ultimately ending up with your heart cracked in a million pieces. The game of love sometimes can be like shooting a game of Craps. No one likes snake eyes. The fun in it all is we keep rolling the dice wondering if you will win this hand. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. Part of me wonders if this doesn’t work mentally will this push me to a place where I will no longer recognize myself. The mind can only take so much and the heart is just as bad. I’m stuck in the middle ground. Friends tell me to move forward my interest speaks the same thing, but I still stand curbside awaiting this mystery sign. In looking back in the past I can see errors made and some roads you don’t want to travel ever again. It’s not about making the person pay for others past mistakes it’s about trusting someone and praying to the good Lord that I’m doing it right. Lord knows no one wants to pass up on a good thing that could be right for you, but I’m also not trying to be another woman from Waiting to Exhale burning cars mentally in my head.  I said mentally because I’m not doing time for no man. Plus a lifetime of orange is not my passion. Somewhere along the line I’ll have to take the advice my mom gave me as a child when trying new foods. Give it a try and if you don’t like it then you won’t have to do it again. Let’s just hope this situation is better than me trying lima beans.