Setting the tone

With every New Year comes new goals. Last year I decided to allow some old things go. The desire to connect with family because I felt I had to when all along some never had the desire. When you have a big heart, you just want everyone to get along. It’s not about who’s better or who’s worst it’s about being family and being there for each other.  A few weeks ago I did something I should have done a long time ago. I simply clicked the unfollow button on one of my social media sites. I’m still connected to the person, but their content doesn’t appear on my feed. You can be friends with a person or even family, but you don’t have to agree with their action or how they move through life. I have never been one to talk down on folks or try to make people feel good so that I can sleep at night. My heart longed for everyone to play well in the sand box, but you can’t force people to be something they aren’t. When a person views life as if they are better than you they really do not see your worth. Towards the end of 2018, I told myself your validation, and acceptance is no longer needed. You don’t have to occupy in the same space as I do. We don’t have to agree. Months ago I remembered confronting an elder in my family to ask the question “What did I ever do to you because I feel as if you hate me?” A question many would never think to ask, but I wanted to know why this person felt the need to feel or treat me as if they were superior. Needless to say the person response was more of making it all in my head and implying that the devil had my mind.   Interesting combination of words and some I don’t think the person considered the validity of them. I didn’t agree nor do I accept that, but at that point I did what my religious momma always taught me and that is to apologize. A simple statement “If I have offended you in any way then I’m sorry.”  Nothing more needed to be said. From that point on I don’t get bothered about not having a relationship with this person. I simply accepted the fact that just because you are related to an individual does not mean you have to even deal with the person or invite them into your space. My home is my sanctuary so as long as I know how you feel you will never have to worry about an invite from me. The lesson in it all is this. It is an empowering thing when you realize everyone doesn’t belong in your life. I don’t care if it’s family, friends or the neighbor next door. Love people from a distance. No anger or animosity needed and save yourself the stress of trying to jump through hoops to be accepted by someone who never intended on accepting you from the beginning. Set the tone. Decide what you will tolerate and not tolerate. Set a standard for your happiness and anyone who doesn’t belong in that space in your life then keep it pushing. There are people in this world who long for acceptance by their parents, siblings, friends or even society. As long as God is happy with you then brush it all off. Stop allowing someone’s acceptance of you hinders your growth and progression in life.