Pedigree

            I’m learning more and more that sometimes the things I notice in my own surroundings that I’m not the only one who sees them nor is my circle the only circle that experiences things too.  Why do people think they are of a better pedigree when they came from the same bloodline as you? It seems to be a toss-up of is it based off of money or is it based on the color of skin. Colorism is real even though many never want to admit they deal with issues of color. Have you ever notice that people without money do one of two things you either look at people with money and believe they have it all which makes you want money or you look at them and see the disadvantages of having money and you thank God that your not in that position. I don’t like division even though some may think otherwise. I simply get tired of the fake and phony. Can the real people please stand up? It is as if we say the same song and dance of broken promises because it tickles the ear but in all honesty, those words are fake like monopoly money.  Why do we find the need to state what our place is in a family tree or why do we feel the need to always state our titles? If you are considered an honorable person people have no problem giving you honor but if your deeds speak otherwise then people will treat you accordingly. Is it a self-esteem or entitlement issue that people feel the need to remind you of their place in life. Perhaps it's a guilty conscience and the need to fee irrelevant.  I have never been fond of a person who always has to toot their own horn. It reminds me of a child starting kindergarten walking to each classmate yelling “I’m a kindergartner”.  News flash they all made it to kindergarten but that announcement won’t guarantee you to first grade. You have to apply yourself. Things don't come free in life someone has to pay the cost for them. 

Making The Right Choice

As humans trust is something that we hold dear. In some ways trust is a sign of loyalty and belief that the person will do right by you. I believe we all start with some level of trust and then depending on the action of the other then you decide if you should increase or decrease the level of trust. I find myself these last few days wanting to yell the words I DON’T TRUST YOU. Even though that might bring me a moment of joy depending on how it is said it could really be hazardous to the person who hears it. I do believe that it’s important to tell people how you feel but I also know that delivery is key. The feeling of wanting to yell these words have intensified in the last few days. Maybe it’s a way of getting it off my chest but also a way of having you back off.  Words have power. They can build up and they can tear people down. A part of me really wants to be like that rapid machine gun just picking folks off one by one providing them with the revelations of how I feel about them but in the back of my mind, it makes me think that puts me on a level with them. Which in all honesty I have not desire to return to.  I’m learning it’s good to get some things out and it’s also good to hold things inside.  You have to decide what is best for you. Maybe it would be in your best interest to tell a person how you feel or maybe you will do like me and just go to a nice nature spot and just yell off of the top of my lungs. Each person needs a release no matter what method you choose make sure it’s one you can live with and one that’s doesn’t take away from the growth and direction you’re heading.

I Am Done

 As the new year draws close it’s interesting how you focus on things. Yesterday after spending a day with family and witnessing some very interesting events it all made me think. I woke up bright and early with these thoughts. There are some people that I have no respect for. No trust nor do I believe they are honorable individuals. I simply had to laugh this morning because yesterday revealed somethings about certain individuals that I don’t think they realized they exposed. Be careful when trying to play both sides of the fence. Someone always pulls out a board or two to expose you when you least expect it. Sometimes it’s the very person you trust. I decided in 2021 I am oh so done with one-sided relationship. The ones where you do all the calling and gathering everyone together to remain a collective unit when someone only want what they can get from you. You are only known when it’s beneficial to themselves.  As the new year draws close you have to drop these relationships like a loose garment. Stop draining yourself to be close to people who only want to relish in your demise. It is like dancing with a serpent. You think the music is calming them but actually, the serpent is dancing to your beat and awaiting a time to strike. The music to you is considered a way to subdue the animal but in the end, the animal is just waiting you out for you to reveal your moment of vulnerability. At some point, you have to stop playing music and simply take the snake's head off before it kills you or both of you have to decide to just walk-in separate directions. I am done. Done of the regular song and dance they keep repeating themselves. I’m ready to close this chapter of the door and not look back. When you realize certain people aren’t needed in order for you to survive then you can simply make the decision you need to make in life. Remember the person you need most in life is God and with this love and guidance you can get through anything.

 

 

Turning the page

Life is full of ups and downs. Some we hold on throughout our life.  We go on handling things the best we can until the day arrives that we truly release it and turn the page to the next chapter of life. Make every day your new years resolutions and turn the page on new ideas, developments, chapters, and adventures. Don't allow the past to hinder you from moving forward to the future.  

Why Women Why

 My question for women today is Why?

Why is it that you sacrifice everything you want in life for a man and you forget yourself?

Why do you play house with a man for 10 and 20 years? Doing all the duties of a wife but never legally becoming one. Settling for the occasional trinket from time to time to ease your mind from really standing up for what you really want or achieving it.

Is your self esteem so low that you fear being alone or are you staying for your children. Don't use your kids for an excuse because they see the difference between a loving home and one that's just existing.

I never understood why woman dealing with these situations.  He gets sick and you aren't the one who can legally sign off on any medical treatments or when he dies you are listed as a special friend for X amount of years in an obituary.

Why did you start a relationship with boundaries but slowly gave each one of them up because you settled?

Now you looking at life and telling yourself I'm content.  Everything you really wanted you realize you wouldn't receive. The years have warn you down and you settled. He got what he wanted but you never got what you wanted.

Some woman have stopped being the go getters. You stop working and making your own and when things fall down the rabbit hole you don't know how to pick yourself up.

You can have happiness, family, future and be a wife but stop selling yourself out. No I'm not telling you to be pimping yourself but stop giving up your standards, dreams and goals to settle because he isn't ready.  He takes full advantage and enjoy the fruits of you without fully committing to you and you accept it because you don't believe you deserve better or he will ever give you what you want.

Why do you settle for scraps? Everyone likes to eat but there is a difference between Five Guys,  Fogo De Chao and Ruth's Chris.

The Empty Space

This last week has been amazing. The lessons learned and relationships gained have been phenomenal. For years I have felt this emptiness in my life.  It mainly came from missed family relationship with different people. Some of this stems back to the beginning of my life. We look at certain people in our family and believe we should be close to them because of who they are. We extend ourselves in hopes of gaining someone on the other side grabbing the other end of the olive branch. In some instances it’s received in others it’s ignored. For someone like me who loves family you continue to keep reaching. The feeling of wanting to fix things and having everyone connected is big in my heart. During the years that has been a binging issue. You can tell when something is missing. Life goes on and other people enter your life. Some are right by your side during the highs and lows of life, but you still long for that certain person to be a part of your journey. One day last week this came to me as a reminder. God places people in your life for a reason. Some will be there every step of the journey and others are kept away for a reason. He knows your heart and what’s best for you and your life. As I began to look at this I realized the very people I wanted close to me were actually dangerous for my way of life and my well being. Instead of putting the people I wanted in my life he placed people in my life that genuinenly loved me. Yesterday God did another miracle.  He reunited my family again with another piece that many of us were missing. Years have passed, but the love still remains the same. Each one of us have had our own journey of life to travel. He put each one of us back together at the right points in our life. The lesson I learned if God wants someone in your life he will work it all out in the right time and if some never reach the relationship with you like the ones in your immediate circle then always know God allows things to happen for a reason. 

Are you approachable?

 This is a big question for many. Some never realize they are not as approachable as they think. I remember growing up as a teenager I remember someone telling me I wasn’t approachable because I always had this look on my face that showed I didn’t care and don’t bother me. Many did not know what to say to me and sometimes they said very little. As I grew up, I realized that this was not the type of person I want to be. I still know people to this day that walk around like this. In many ways, it is a way to prove to people that I am that person you do not want to mess with but in all realness, they tend to be the people who can truly be hurt the most. You outside appearance is just a wall. Your deterrent and first line of defense. Sometimes people are truly unapproachable. They do not believe they are wrong they have the answers to everything which is quite the opposite.  They do not take criticism or even advice. People like this never see they are wrong and many will never use the words I am sorry or I was wrong. It creates a horrible barrier with those around you. In many ways the people around you can give you the hints you need to be a better person but since you are closeminded to seeing things differently, they allow you to go through life thinking you have the answer. It is a disservice to yourself and to everyone else as a hold. My plea to you is take down the walls. Remove the rough exterior and welcome the world in. Be open to change and allowing love to enter your heart. Fill your world with truth and honesty and you will be amazed how much your life will change for the better.